Title: Shoot the Lights Out
Author: Anna S.
Fandom: Sports Night
Summary: "Our show is on," she says, and those words don't carry any
less weight than they did the first time she said them.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Set immediately following Quo Vadimus, the show's finale.
Notes: Thanks to Shaye, for her sharp eyes and encouragement, and Ria
for her honesty.
A very happy, belated Christmas to the wonderful Stylus, who deserved
a more timely gift.
*
The cameras click off and the room explodes into movement. Natalie
gives Dana a quick squeeze before flinging herself into Jeremy's arms.
Behind her, Kim and Elliot are leaping up and down, bouncing like
six-year-olds on Christmas day.
Dana reaches Danny and Casey first, laughing to see the matching grins
on their faces.
"Our show is on," she says, and those words don't carry any less
weight than they did the first time she said them. Danny throws an
arm around both of them, and whoops.
The set quickly turns into a party. Cold champagne and vodka appear
from nowhere, along with a slightly stale cake. Danny runs off to
find Rebecca as Dana drags Casey into the congo line snaking around
the room.
Two hours later people are finally starting to leave and head home. A
smart few choose comfortable corners and pass out, saving themselves
commuting time.
Dana sags into Casey's chest, closing her eyes. It seems right
somehow to wrap her arms around him, and equally right to have hands
tighten around her waist.
They stand like that for awhile, swaying in a haze warmth and alcohol.
His hand traces a pattern through the thin fabric of her skirt. When
she looks up, he's gazing down at her and their lips meet half way.
The kiss is sloppy, but gentle. When she pulls away, her feet slip
and she falls against him, almost knocking him over.
Between giggles, she asks him to come home with her. In the cab ride,
Casey composes a long, incoherent speech to Quo Vadimus and even after
she kisses him, she can hear the mumbled words trying to escape.
"There really isn't a way to get you to shut up, is there?" she asks
and he waggles his eyebrows.
By the time they're actually in her apartment, her sweater's half off,
and he's working on her bra. As they stumble into her bedroom, she
tugs on his shirt, laughing as it catches on his head.
"I told you your head was too big," she says and in mock anger he
pulls her onto the bed. She reaches for the waistband of his pants,
trying to concentrate on his belt buckle.
It surprises her how well they fit together, how easy all of this is.
With a moment of self-loathing, she realizes that if it weren't for
the ill-fated dating plan, she could have had this a long time ago.
"Do you ever think about how close we came?" she asks him as he leaves
a line of soft kisses down her stomach. "If I'd moved a little faster,
or if you'd changed your mind a little slower…" she trails off as he
lifts his head up, expecting him to agree, or make an offer of a
second chance.
Her haze has only worn off slightly, but his expression is
surprisingly clear. "It was more than just the timing, Dana," he
says.
Either she's drunker than she thought, or hornier or both, because she
lets him return to her body without complaint, and when he comes, she
calls his name.
*
When Dana wakes up, he's not there. She's not sure whether she's
relieved or hurt, but she's not entirely surprised.
She dresses slowly, meticulously, and puts on his favorite blue
sweater first, but when she looks into the mirror, it infuriates her
so much that she flings it off and changes into a loose blouse. When
she walks into her kitchen, Casey's standing by the counter with a
coffee mug in his hand.
He meets her eyes and the color in his cheeks rises, as she feels her
face turn hot. "I thought you left," she says.
"I'm not that kind of guy, Dana." She raises her eyebrows, and after
a second he admits that he couldn't find his wallet for taxi money.
Dana searches around the room for a few minutes, feeling her face
growing redder and redder until she finally finds her jacket in a pool
behind the coat rack. She pulls a twenty dollar bill out of its
pocket and hands it to him. Wrinkling her nose, she says, "Don't show
up at my show until you've taken a shower."
"Look, about last night, should we, maybe, talk—?"
"I don't think it's necessary, Casey," she says, glancing away from
him.
He continues anyway, "It's not that I don't love you Dana, you know I
do. But we're bad for each other. I married Lisa once, and that was
enough."
Her chest tightens and her voice is strained when she answers, "You're
mistaken, Casey if you think I'd ever treat you the way Lisa treated
you. But maybe that just means that you're right."
He nods and leaves. His cup of coffee is cool to the touch and she
wonders how long he was up, waiting for her. She drinks it slowly,
staring out the window at the tops of buildings.
*
"Natalie, I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to keep it
to yourself. And this time, Jeremy doesn't count as an extension of
yourself."
Natalie nods. Dana takes a deep breath before she takes the plunge.
"I slept with Casey last night."
Natalie's eyes widen, and a huge smile breaks across her face. "I
knew it. I knew you two would eventually—"
Dana cuts her off. "It won't happen again."
"And you're okay with that?" Natalie asks, searching her face for
clues.
"Why wouldn't I be?" she asks, but even she can hear the fake cheer in
her voice, stretched so far it's in danger of cracking.
She's had almost exactly this conversation before. First about Bill,
then Gordan, then Casey, and finally Sam.
Change comes to her slowly. Her closest friend from college has long
since stopped sending her cards, but Dana dutifully calls her once or
twice a month. Gordon has yet to be erased from her speed dial, and
even now when she looks at Casey, all she can think of is their
infinite potential.
The young, fresh faced girl from San Francisco with the germ of a
dream is mostly gone, but her confidence still has the feel of false
bravado.
*
She assumes that Casey has told Dan, since it's hard to imagine Casey
doing anything without telling his other half. More and more in her
head, she finds herself thinking of them as CaseynDanny, like some new
species of creature; the previously unknown, wise-cracking sports
anchor.
Between the two yentas of the set, she supposes she should be relieved
that Dan and Natalie manage to keep their secret for a whole two days.
Kim stops her in the hallway to give her a hug, and when she escapes
to Isaac's office, searching for some wisdom, the expression on his
face is so deeply sympathetic that she stammers a lame excuse and
slips out again.
Casey pulls her aside after the show to ask her if she's okay.
"Everyone keeps treating me like I broke your heart," he confides.
But where there should be sympathy, she only sees cockiness.
"Do I look like you broke my heart?" she asks.
"No."
"Then let's go ahead and assume you didn't."
*
Dana finds Isaac flipping through a science magazine at his desk.
"I guess you heard," she says. He nods and she jokes, "Sports Night.
The only place in the world where sound travels faster than light."
"Dana," Isaac begins, and the gentleness in his voice is so
comfortable that she feels her features start to unfreeze. The ache
in her jaw disappears as tears begin to stream down her face.
"Am I just completely unloveable?" she asks. "Maybe my mother was
right about women and sports. Maybe we don't mix. God, I'm so
pathetic. So completely, utterly pathetic."
"Do you remember the first time we met?" he asks, unexpectedly.
Trying to wipe her face with her sleeve, she nods.
"You were just another twenty-something with a tan, and then you
walked up to me and introduced yourself, swearing that you wanted to
work in sports. You told me there was nothing you loved more. I
doubted you, but the second you started to talk I knew you were one of
the last members of a dying breed," he paused, giving her a smile.
"When CSC started looking for producers, I refused to consider anyone
but you. I knew you would be the only one who could do the job we
needed done. And you have. And everything else is nonsense.
"Look around, Dana. Look what you've done here."
She glances around the office, spotting the glass Excellence in
Broadcasting trophy on his shelf, and the words come back to her. Our
show is on.
All of her other loves have failed her in one way or another: Gordan,
who never could have loved her any way, Casey, who fell in love with
the wrong woman first, and then Sam, who wasn't strong enough to stay.
Sports were her first love, and she's starting to think they'll be her
last. And for the first time, that doesn't fill her with despair.
Giving Isaac a quick hug, she heads home and falls asleep to the sound
of a taped football game. In her dreams, the crowds lift her away,
and she wraps her arms around herself for warmth.