Title: Lipstick Traces
Author: Lin
Fandom: CSI
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Quite clearly not mine. Sue me if you like - it's Christmas, and I'm even more overdrawn than usual.
Summary: "I want to be him, because he's with you."
Author's Notes: For Christine, who's Secret Santa has got me writing my first
CSI fic, and who I want to be when I grow up. Also, apologies for the lateness.
I am, in my own defence, at least aware that I suck. Merry Christmas, Doll.
~~~
"Have a drink with me, Sara."
Catherine walked past her car, past Sara, and towards the street. She turned
her head and glanced back.
"That wasn't a question." Catherine turned and walked on. "We're taking a
cab."
~~~
The bar, The Velvet Rooms, was crowded. Catherine and Sara slid into the last
plush burgundy booth, with Catherine's whiskey sours and Sara's cosmopolitans.
"Buying in bulk is the way to go – reduces total queuing time greatly,"
Catherine had imparted, wisely.
In the booth the noise of the crowd washed over them and they were quiet
together. Catherine's first whiskey sour was gone before Sara's fingers
tightened on her glass. She reached across the table and eased the brown
leather of Catherine's sleeve up until the vivid red marks were visible, turning
slowly to bruises.
"He hurt you."
Catherine lifted her second whiskey. "He's an asshole, Sara." She tipped her
glass sharply. "Cheers."
Sara's fingers slid right around Catherine's wrist, fitting neatly into the
bruises Eddie had left. "But how do you –"
Catherine cut her off. "Gil's right, you know. You've got to learn to let the
shit that goes on at work go at the end of shift."
"He told you he talked to me?"
Catherine swirled her second drink, took a sip, looked Sara in the eye. "He
tells me a lot of things."
"For example…"
"He feels. But he's learned to let things go. He's been doing this longer than
any of us. Shift's over. Forget about it, and have a drink."
"Just like that?"
"Sure. Just like that."
Sara's eyes flashed, and she raised her cosmopolitan but did not drink. "I'm
not going to stop feeling, dammit. You think I'm cold, and I don't care, but I
chose this job so I could make things better for people who can't do it for
themselves. How can I do that if I don't feel for them?"
Catherine didn't hesitate. "Don't you think I've ever asked myself that same
question? You know what conclusion I came to? I'm no damn use to any of them
if I give myself a nervous breakdown."
"Going home at the end of each shift and forgetting about it all doesn't work
for me, Catherine, and I'm a better CSI because of it. I don't work like you
and Grissom."
Catherine stood, unwound Sara's fingers from her wrist, and left the booth.
Sara watched Catherine walk across the room, but instead of heading for the exit
she stopped by the cigarette machine. She dropped in a few coins, retrieved her
packed of Marlboros, and smoked half of one before coming back and picking up as
if there had been no break.
"You don't give us much credit, do you, Sara?" She looked around for an
ashtray, and then tapped her cigarette into one of her empty whiskey glasses.
"To be honest, I don't have any particular desire to discuss any emotional
issues Gil or I might have with you. But –" Sara's eyes focused on Catherine's
lips around her Marlboro as she took a long drag. "Believe me when I say you
are an excellent CSI, and it is despite your emotional entanglement, not because
of it."
Catherine smoked down to the filter and stubbed it out in the whiskey glass
before Sara spoke again. Sara's eyes kissed Catherine's and slid away before
settling on the lipstick traces on her glass. "Grissom told you I have feelings
for him, didn't he? He told you I flirt with him; that I want to be with him,
right?"
Catherine raised an eyebrow, reached out a hand and tipped Sara's chin to catch
her gaze with her own, so their eyes locked. "He thinks it's true." Sara
reached for the pack of Marlboros on the table, peeled away the remains of the
plastic and crushed it in her fist. "He doesn't realise that I don't want to be
with him. I want to be him."
Sara took a cigarette from the packet, but shook her head when Catherine held a
lit match towards her. She looked at the cigarette, dropped it on the table,
lifted her second cosmopolitan to her lips, and swallowed half of it.
"I want to be him, because he's with you."
Catherine picked up the Marlboro Sara had dropped and smoked it to the filter
while Sara gulped her last cosmopolitan, then Catherine stood and grabbed her
coat and Sara's. She took two steps away from the table before turning back to
Sara.
"He's not with me tonight."
~~~
Under rumpled white sheets Catherine kissed Sara with whiskey-flavoured lips.
Pushing forward then arching back they stripped each other of shirts, pants, gun
holsters, until Sara's lips could meet every inch of Catherine's skin.
"I can't let it go, Catherine." Sara reached for Catherine's hands and placed a
kiss in the centre of each palm, then moved to cover the purpling marks on her
wrists with kisses of their own. "I won't let it go."
~~~
End.