Title: Invidious

Web: http://appelsini.tripod.com/Christine/

Category: CJ/Toby

Archive: Sure

Rating: PG - 13

Disclaimer: Aaron for President!

Summary: "'We could be very sensible here,' she said and he agreed."

Acknowledgements: Written in response to the "Good things come in 3s" challenge issued by the legendary Liz "M-for-Miss-Edith" Barr - three stories, three fandoms, one lyric.

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"You make me hard, you make me cold" - The Whitlams

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There isn't an institution in America that doesn't have an opinion on how crime could be prevented. But here's one he hasn't heard before - inadequate childcare for Working Mothers. The Criminology Institute has developed a decent rhetoric on the subject. He'd hand it on to CJ if he thought that anyone in the Press Corps would pick it up. Too involved. Too complex. Still, the accompanying argument that poverty is not a direct link to crime is perhaps of interest. He should tell her about that.

He really doesn't want to make her angry today.

Too late. She is slamming a door down the hallway and yelling "Joshua!" into the corridor and he's glad it's Josh and not him although he knows that they're all in a waiting room when it comes to CJ's wrath and he's just waiting for his name to be called. Five minutes later Bonnie comes into the room and says "CJ's in a mood," before dumping a pile of folders on his desk.

He knows. She woke up that way.

This morning has gone slowly. The time between her leaving his bed and her arrival at work dragged and he couldn't help wondering what she was doing while she delayed her arrival.

He thinks about being older and wiser and he knows he is because he speaks a lot slower than he did twenty years ago. An argument takes time to form and he doesn't make as many mistakes as he used to. And when Andi left he told himself it was fortunate because he really didn't have the head for relationships in the way he had a head for politics and the two had to be mutually exclusive or he had a lot to answer for. But then again, Andi did too.

And then last night he sunk that fifth shot of scotch (or was it sixth?) because he thought that if he was drunk enough he might actually kiss her while she was standing in his kitchen staring at her feet. He thought about it for a while but he was still surprised when he did.

And he was surprised at how quickly she responded, how she wrapped her arms around him and touched him with so much need. How she took handfuls of his clothing and gasped, her mouth into his.

When they finally stopped he realised he had her shirt unbuttoned to the waist so that sensible white underwear was plainly visible as were her small and erect nipples underneath. His belt was lying on the floor where it had fallen after she unfastened the clasp on his pants.

He was thinking that it had nearly gone too far. He asked if she was OK and she nodded.

And he was grateful because it had nearly gone too far but it hadn't and they stopped and he could at least think that he had some kind of control over this thing.

But he wants her and that's not something he has control over.

She leaned back against the counter in his kitchen.

"We could be very sensible here," she said and he agreed.

"I should probably leave," she added.

And then he surprised himself once more.

"Don't go," he pleaded quietly. She kissed him in response.

In the morning she fell over his shoes as she tried to creep out the door without waking him.

She appears at his door just before lunch. She is holding his notes.

"What is this?" Her voice could cut glass.

He pauses before answering.

"Briefing notes."

"You got this yesterday?"

"Yes."

"I should probably read the whole thing."

"Yes."

"In the half hour or so I have before the briefing."

"You were late today."

He shouldn't make her angry and there was a point in the morning where he thought he wouldn't. He pictured this differently.

"I could have had it yesterday Toby! Carol could have had it this morning. I have an assistant whose job it is to tell me when I have something important to read but she needs to see it first. Are you trying to make me look like an idiot? "

"Carol's read it. She can bring you up to speed."

She glares at him.

She glares at him like she knows, he knows she hates him. And she knows she'll continue to hate him, and it's not because she doesn't love him or want him, and it's not because she regrets feeling him next to her in the night or breathing his name with every movement he makes inside her. She hates him because she is exposed and with that unveiling she has nowhere left to hide.

And he wonders whether he is ever going to love anyone without first taking them apart.

"Carol!" she yells as she storms from his office.

Sam appears in his door seconds after.

"What's up with her?" he asks.

"Am I supposed to know?" he shoots back and he watches Sam's face darken at the retort.

When Andi left she said he brought out the worst in her and it's true, he knows it's true, but he doesn't know how to stop.

End.